Mixed thoughts on the page...

After many years of being overweight and battling with myself, I’m considering Lap-Band surgery. I’m not sure where this road may take me. But for the moment I’m considering a road that can really help me achieve my hopes and dreams.

Update: there's no way I'm hopping on the surgery train if I know I can do it on my own....and this I know. Cheers to the new adventure! 

There is so much to consider with this and I can't believe that I've let myself reach this place. 

In the past I’ve learned to almost overlook my weight. It was as if I accepted that I was always destined to be overweight.  That genetics put me here. However the real kicker is that I know what got me here. I recall the pizzas, the sweets and the drinks. I’m smart enough to put it all together but not strong enough to be able to control it.  It’s so self defeating and degrading at the same time.

All of this self-deprecation has really taken its toll on my soul.  I find myself hiding away from the world, depressed, filled with anxiety and knowing that I’m falling further and further into the rabbit hole.  My weight has become the thing that decides who what I do, whom I know and worse… It has decided who I am.

So who am I really? I think its time to find out.