Friday, October 26, 2012

Falling of the weight loss wagon you say?



Falling of the weight loss wagon you say? 

How about the wagon was more of a single wheel bike that was packed with c4 and on fire rolling down the side of a cliff… that would be more accurate then saying I was off the wagon.

I was set up from the get up as yet again as I jumped into a plan unprepared, not fully committed and packed full with drugs.

The failed plan:
  1. Buy armband
  2. Move more (although I really never thought that I didn’t move enough)
  3. Eat less while trying to eat more often?? Silly me…
  4. I’m sure there should be a 4th and a 5th  but not on this burning ride.

So I gather that I wasn’t prepared and probably not fully committed to the plan.  Add in two trips to the doctor and two rounds of steroids and you have a impossible goal of weight loss.

Now at the terrifying weight of 250 (OMG I know… ) , I take a look at myself and I’m crushed. Most people can see how they got there and count all of the late night meals, bars of chocolate and plenty of empty calorie drinks. I, on the other hand, only see each pill I had to take and each tear that rolled down my face as I stood on the scale and watched my emotional strength shatter.

So far the steroids have been a necessary evil as they were something that I needed for my health.  For me to be willing to take on 40lbs in a year and a half of steroids, you know that it was a not a choice and that the weight gain was somehow a small thing in comparison to how sick I was.

 So now I sit here, a diet failure and a pill side effect mess. 250lbs.

I’ve decided to open up my world and ask for help. 

Sunday, October 21, 2012

1862

I'm so proud to see my little baby blog hit 1862... Im such a proud momma!!!

Tuesday, October 16, 2012

Nutritionist or Doctor



5:30 am is the perfect time for sleeping… Or, cleaning, dancing and blogging as it turns out.

One of the ideas rolling around in my restless head is what’s the next step for me?

I have goals…

One of those goals being the immense amount of weight that I need to shed from this frame.  Since coming home from Mexico I’ve had one excuse or another for why it’s just not happening for me.  While the unfortunate truth of the matter is that I’m the only person in control (or lack there of) of what I’m putting into this body or expecting out of it. Believe me this is not the revelation I was looking for.

Doing this alone, or winging it, isn’t working for me. I think its time to bring in a professional. Someone who has helped people fight off years of bad habits and self-doubt.

So the question is: Nutritionist or Doctor?

All feedback would be greatly appreciated :)