Falling of the weight loss wagon you say?

Falling of the weight loss wagon you say? 

How about the wagon was more of a single wheel bike that was packed with c4 and on fire rolling down the side of a cliff… that would be more accurate then saying I was off the wagon.

I was set up from the get up as yet again as I jumped into a plan unprepared, not fully committed and packed full with drugs.

The failed plan:

1. Buy armband
2. Move more (although I really never thought that I didn’t move enough)
3. Eat less while trying to eat more often?? Silly me…
4. I’m sure there should be a 4^th and a 5^th  but not on this burning ride.

So I gather that I wasn’t prepared and probably not fully committed to the plan.  Add in two trips to the doctor and two rounds of steroids and you have a impossible goal of weight loss.

Now at the terrifying weight of 250 (OMG I know… ) , I take a look at myself and I’m crushed. Most people can see how they got there and count all of the late night meals, bars of chocolate and plenty of empty calorie drinks. I, on the other hand, only see each pill I had to take and each tear that rolled down my face as I stood on the scale and watched my emotional strength shatter.

So far the steroids have been a necessary evil as they were something that I needed for my health.  For me to be willing to take on 40lbs in a year and a half of steroids, you know that it was a not a choice and that the weight gain was somehow a small thing in comparison to how sick I was.

 So now I sit here, a diet failure and a pill side effect mess. 250lbs.

I’ve decided to open up my world and ask for help. 

1862

I'm so proud to see my little baby blog hit 1862... Im such a proud momma!!!

Nutritionist or Doctor

5:30 am is the perfect time for sleeping… Or, cleaning, dancing and blogging as it turns out.

One of the ideas rolling around in my restless head is what’s the next step for me?

I have goals…

One of those goals being the immense amount of weight that I need to shed from this frame.  Since coming home from Mexico I’ve had one excuse or another for why it’s just not happening for me.  While the unfortunate truth of the matter is that I’m the only person in control (or lack there of) of what I’m putting into this body or expecting out of it. Believe me this is not the revelation I was looking for.

Doing this alone, or winging it, isn’t working for me. I think its time to bring in a professional. Someone who has helped people fight off years of bad habits and self-doubt.

So the question is: Nutritionist or Doctor?

All feedback would be greatly appreciated :)

the ups and the downs...

The downs:

The thing that truly kills you as a fat person is the reflection in the mirror on an off day, the way something you love fits a little snug and the way your emotions slowly tear down what little self esteem you have left.

On my recent trip to Mexico, I found myself surrounded by endless drinks, buffets and mirrors galore.  When I say mirrors... I mean Mirrors. Full length mirrors on every wall in the bathroom and three full length mirrors in the room.  To top it off, these aren't your handpicked skinny mirrors (you know what I'm talking about ladies). All three of these in combination was enough to shatter my tough girl veneer. 

I weighed in when I got home from Mexico and I was 10lbs heavier then on the 8th of that month. Ekkk Gadddd!!!  I cannot even pretend to be shocked. Between my meds, the drinks and the buffet... I know exactly where each of these slimy little lbs came from.


The Ups:

I learned to overcome some of my self esteem issues while on this trip. I embraced shorts (which I haven't worn in 10 or so years in public), I trotted around in a swimsuit (amazing!!!!) without desperately wanting to apologize to the skinny people around me and to top it off... I allowed myself to have fun regardless.

The downer above was a really low point for me... and for me to be able to flip that pity trip and be better to myself was an life changing experience for me.

Now that I'm home its time to enact my plans for a healthier life.  With my body media fit on my arm and my head in the game I'm ready to start this journey.

I have a 5k on Saturday in Cincinnati. The color run!!! I cannot wait!!! Next year I will be able to run the entire thing. That is my starter goal. Just watch how far I go people... just watch ;)

sea turtles

Just got back from Mexico (Cancun... don't be jealous) and I couldn't wait to share with you all the amazing experience I had.  I was lucky enough to be able to release a baby white sea turtle into the ocean!!!

These precious animals are on the verge of extinction. These animals do not develop their hard shells until the age of 15 when they become adults.  This makes them extremely venerable to birds, sharks and other animals.  The worst killer is humans by far.  If netting them by accident isn't bad enough... people also eat these turtles regardless of their fragile status on the engendered list.

I cannot tell you how this once in a lifetime experience has bettered my life. The turtles happened to hatch the morning of our last day in Cancun. The community waited to release these turtles into the ocean at night. Without doing this most of the 86 baby turtles would have been picked up by the crabs, seagulls, pelicans and racoons all waiting for them. Releasing them at night gave them a higher chance of survival from the get go.

My husband and I got to name our turtles... Hector was my husbands and Mantequilla (yes that's butter in Spanish. Its the prettiest Spanish name I know :)  was my little turtle. Watching her flap in my hands, ready to take on the world, made my heart flutter. Letting her go... was so hard knowing her chances. watching her run to the ocean and take on her life... AMAZING!!!

Mantequilla.... I wish you the best of luck in this crazy world and I hope that in 15 years you'll get the chance to continue the chain of life.

BirchBox #1

Boy oh Boy..
Let me tell you...

I was like a kid on Christmas morning when this box finally showed up!!!


This little pink box made my day in a way I cant explain. As a nut for new things and a collector of nail polish the Birchbox is a dream come true for a gal like me. 

Now back to the start.

About 3 months ago I signed up. Ever since I've been waiting my turn at a chance of having my very own Birchbox. When I was accepted... The wait, the anticipation and frustration each time I checked the mail was the worst part about the Birchbox.

So whats in my beautiful pink box of wonders...??


Here is a run down:

1. Soy Body Whip
     -Awesome and Amazing
2. Twistband
    - from twistband.com
     -This is fantastic for your hair
3. Nail Polish
     -the uber blue is wicked looking
4. Twirl from Kate spade
       -Smells great
5. Matte Moisture tint from Jouer
        - Tiny little thing...
6. Fashion tape
        -Anything that can keep the sisters inline while I'm in Mexico... Heck yes!!!


 I am currently in love with Birchbox (don't tell my hubby!) and at $10.00 a month... This is the best way to give yourself a little gift all while sampling the new and fantastic!!! Birchbox you are fantastic and totally worth the wait ;) 





 

Spray tanning = Oompa Loompa

Oompa Loompa

doompadee doo….

I’ve got a really fake

orange tan for you!!!

^^^^ here's what I look like a day later... I think I'm looking pretty good :D   ^^^^^^^^^

In exactly 6 days I will be half naked, toes deep in the sand and a big fruity drink in my hand. What this means for a white (I mean whiter then Michael Jackson white)… help me!!! No one wants to look like the underbelly of a seal while swimming in Mexico.

‘Jaws’ scared me for life… I can be in a hot tub alone at night and still hear “nanana nanana”.  So for me, a tan is necessary for me to play in the ocean without having Jaws creep up from below thinking that I’m a huge seal.

And after my experience with the Cobra Tanning bed (ouch ouch ouch) I decided to try out alternative methods of tanning before my trip to Cancun.

Today I tried out spray tanning. Besides the fact that I think I inhaled something that may be worse for you then the UV rays from a tanning bed, I think this is a good option.

Downsides to spray tanning:

1. I smell oddly of bread
2. Where I was mostly white, there seams to be an odd orangish tint.
3. I feel sticky.

So besides the fact that I could look a bit like an Oompa Loompa that just rolled around in honey while I was also multitasking and baking bread… I think this might be ok. 

Insomnia

 You would think that not sleeping would provide a person the time it takes to clean your house, do all your crafts and finally learn how to get the “cat eye” look down with liquid liner and not look like a street walker.

Instead it makes you a little frazzled and gives you the time to waste your time. So what does this insomniac do at 3 am??

One word…    PINTEREST

Pinterest is the mecca for slackers and people who would love to be crafty but have never actually finished a project in their lives. That’s right… I’m one of the many crafters that Pinterest surf instead of actually doing the crafting. I spend so much time repining that I never do any of the things id love to do. 

Pinterest is an insomniac’s best friend.  Although I must say… 3am without sleep… do not take up sewing. ;) 

Things like this never happen to others... i swear...

Things you should never have to text to your Landlord:

"I'm sorry that Knox (my pup) acted like a rapist... At least we know that he likes you!!"


Seriously,  I've never met someone who on a daily bases has something embarrassing happen to them quite like me. My dog had his arms wrapped so tightly around his thigh that we couldnt pry him off. And theres my boy... pumping away without a care in the world and a grin on his furry little face.

So embarrassing.

Red as a lobster...

Tanning isn’t for the weak

I should have known better.  In a world filled with animals, some predator and some prey, I should never have signed up for the cobra.  That’s right a species of venomous snakes known for killing nice Minnesotan travelers in the Middle East.

I should have picked out a tanning bed called the butterfly sissy.  But no, I just had to have the Cobra! 

In just a week and a half I’ll be in Cancun Mexico. Being a true Minnesotan I’m rocking the MN tan. Tan arms, chest, tan knees and calves, everything else is pristine white.  This is a kind of tan that blinds unsuspecting travelers on the beach and terrifies small children.

Out of respect for the Children I decided to tan.

Now out of disdain for the Children and snakes I’m nursing a bright red color that can only be explained as pure heat and future cancer. 

 Dreams Resort in Cancun... jealous yet??  ;)

Update:  people should never where lace undies to a tanning booth... trust me... the burn design left behind is not cute.  lol

Sept 11th

I will never forget the chills that ran through my body when I watched the first plane strike the tower.

Other generations have memories like the moon landing... We have the towers.

I will never forget.

Bring it on 5k

On Oct 6^th I will be participating in my first 5k. 

It’s the Color Run in Cincinnati. Yes it’s the one where you start out in white… and at each 1k random strangers throw handfuls of color at you. Yes, I’m paying people for this.  LOL

                                                                 ^^^^^PROOF ^^^^^

The best part about this 5k is it will be a marker of a new life for me. One of the largest goals I have is to eventually participate in a marathon. This being my first 5k and I not being in great shape will be walking.  I know that makes it less exciting but I plan on having the max amount of fun with this. You have to crawl before you walk, you have to walk before you run and you have to run, run, run, before you run a marathon.

Doing this forces me out of my bubble and I’m ready to break that bubble.

The best part of the color run is that I intend to run it next year.  Run it. It will be the start of a summer that I plan on participating in at least 2 full marathons.  I cannot wait to achieve this first milestone.

Did I mention the tutu??

That’s right… I will be rocking both my Bodymedia armband and a glorious white tutu!!! If you’re going to have fun with me you’ve got to be prepared to deal with my funny side.

I will be venturing from Des Moines IA, heading to Chicago (to pick up my best friend) and finally hitting up Cincinnati for the run.  My poor friend will have to take photos of me rocking a tutu covered in all sorts of colored powders and he’ll still have to tell people I’m his bestie. Love it!!!

I would like to give a shout out to my girl Jessica, for which without out her inspiration I wouldn’t be road tripping to Cincinnati and making my first 5k. Thanks Girl!!! Next year we’ll be finishing side by side! 

To top off this adventure... nothing is better then getting a fantastic deal on an amazing hotel!!! Check this place out!!! Oww OWw!!!

 

what? I'm light as a feather

It’s an amazing feeling to find people that are motivated like you. Motivated to make a difference, motivated to make a change and most importantly motivated to experience the hard work and dedication its going to take to want better for yourself in this world.

Yesterday I poured my heart out on my “who am I” post… Big girls do not talk about their actual weight. Lordy, my husband has no idea how much I weight and if there was someway to dodge the infamous scale at the doctors… my doctor wouldn’t have a clue either. It took quite a lot of guts to say where I was in my journey and how I got there. And what happened?

After posting I freaked out!!! I thought about deleting the post… deleting the blog and deleting all evidence of the existence of a person wanting to better herself.  When you put yourself out like that you never know what kind of response that you’ll get.  

So instead of being spammed by a bunch of cowardly Internet hatters, I got a ton so support and I might have even inspired some people in the process. So while I still feel a little exposed (and I mean no clothes at all kind of exposed) I’m glad that I had the guts to do it. 

On a side note... I hit up yoga in the park again this AM.  I Christine SkinnyLadysomeday... is by no means a yogi.  :) 

So who am I?

I’m a 31 year old that has spent most of her thin life thinking she was fat and now that I’m fat I would kill to get back to where I was.  I used to be a downhill racer and I competed at a national level.  Just imagine squeezing yourself into a skintight body suit knowing that you’re larger then the rest of the ladies. At some point we all grow up, graduate from college and move on from our sports. The problem is that your beer drinking days weren’t over and as a result my weight caught up with me.

On 8-29-12 I visited my doctor and just about died when I saw the number on the scale.  I had just finished another steroid treatment (privacy people… you don’t get to know everything about me) and when added to the last year and a half of steroids treatments, I have blossomed into a beautiful ball of blubber.  I’ve had about 50lbs of weight gain from the steroids.

Here is where I’m starting:

Weight: 247  (ekkk gad I know)

Height: 5’6”

Neck: 14-1/2

Bust: 47

Chest: 40

Waist: 42

Hips: 53

Thighs: 28 1/2- 28  (left-right)
Calves: 18- 18-1/4

Upper arm:  15 - 14-1/2 (left-right)

Each week I’m planning on measuring my success. However I will only weight myself once a month.  My goals are to be fit and healthy and my exact weight isn’t as important to me.  That and I know that a tape measure won’t make me break down into a ball of sorrow.

During the next two weeks I’ll be educating myself and coming up with a plan, goals and reward system for my success. Then I’m hitting Cancun and getting my cravings and partying out of my system so that I can come back refreshed and ready to commit.

So September 30^th of 2012 is the date that I change. It’s a date that I become a person that is better to myself.

                       I'm in the middle holding the trophy!!     I'm on the left rocking my ugly sweater!!

Sharing this with everyone is a reward and a punishment… I know that it holds me accountable and that it makes me responsible to the people who believe in me. I would love your feedback, comments and even concerns along the way. 

Nothing is worse then being treated like a fat person. Nothing.

Wait… so you’re a girl who hates to shop?? No…

I love when people find this out about me, and still act surprised, like there is no such thing as a girl who doesn’t love the mall. Being overweight a majority of your life and spending the rest “thinking” you’re obese because you can’t shop at Abercrombie (seriously... we live in a world where a double zero exists), really does some long-term damage to your self-esteem. 

Nothing is worse then being treated like a fat person. Nothing.

After being a retail manager for over 6 years I can say with confidence that the majority of people in a shopping mall are tiny. To a fat girl it is a lot like being put into a judgmental shark tank and you’re the lunch being served.  The mall is always filled with size 3 nothings, hands filled to the brim, with bags of loot because they had so many options and everything was on sale for them.  These sharks hate that you make them wait to try things on, they hate how you look in skinny jeans and most importantly they hate that something made for them fits on you.

Not only is it hard shopping, to fit your curves that have curves on them, it’s also an emotional war with yourself.  Between the battles in your own head over how you look, how people are looking at you and how you think they’re thinking about you, it’s amazing I have any clothes at all. 

I think that's why we big girls have developed a layer of hilarity to camouflage ourselves.  

Who knew?? Bodymedia… that’s who!!

Today is my first full day with my Bodymedia Link and let me tell you… I had absolutely no idea what I was putting into my mouth.  Aside from the calorie free, proverbial foot (which happens more often then I’d like to admit), Id never given it much thought. 

I know that there are some people out there that hate logging their food and I will probably be one of them at some point. But right now… I’m the person that THANK GOD I LOGGED MY FOOD today.

Talk about a wakeup call, to how I’ve gotten to the point that I’m at.  And as a call out to each curve that’s a little curvier… watch your back.


Also... I've found out that I'm a grazer. Just like a cow. Not sure how I'm feeling about that or how to log in 3 almonds... all I can say is moooo. 

My BodyMedia baby has arrived!!

Boy oh boy!!! Look whats here!!

I squealed and did a little happy dance when my doorbell rang this afternoon :)

I have to say with all the anticipation, planning and waiting for this to arrive I'm finding the 4 hour additional wait to play with my new tool to be killing me. Really...would it have killed you BodyMedia to have this slightly charged for the ADD consumers out there?? ;)

After stabbing my way through the plastic clam, holding my new baby pearl, I immediately notice that there isn't a lot of info with this product. I, being a info junky, found the interface between an armband and a website with unclear focus to be a little irritating. I will not let this ruin the excitement I have however.

I've decided that tomorrow morning I will start my new journey into the BodyMedia fit world and I hope that by that time I've figured out how to link this up with not only my computer but also my smartphone.

Oh little baby pearl... I cannot wait to take you out into the world and break you in!!

 

Iowa people are like cats...

 As a Minnesotan you take for granted the friendly faces, eye contact and hello’s from strangers.  I guess you could say that our Minnesotan ‘nice’ makes us a lot like a dog.  We wag our tails and are so happy to see someone new that we roll over and show our soft bellies. 

Since moving to Iowa I can only access that people here are a lot like cats.

Everyday my dog and I journey out for our walks. What blows my mind is that even though I see people walking around the lake every single day… no matter how many hellos I say or how many head nods I give. The second someone makes eye contact with you here they immediately find something devastatingly interesting like "Dora the explorer" flying in the sky, and they all but stumble over their own feet just to avoid a awkward hello with a stranger.

Thus, the people of Iowa are like cats. They only want you on their terms.  They are the snobs of the animal world and will give you affection when they decide that they want it from you.

Come on Iowa… This Minnesotan needs some to meet some dogs unafraid to put themselves out there and meet some new people ;) 

Survival..

I find it interesting that as I prepare for this "new start" or "life change", that I have been indulging like an addict and trying to get  my last fix. I know that part of how I did get here is that I have a strange relationship with food and that is something that I've got to conquer on my own. 

Why I'm doing this... why I'm trying to survive in a healthier body:

1. I do not want to die from diabetes. Something that has taken 4 people away from me already.
2. I want to set goals and accomplish them (ie:marathon)
3. I want to spend a lifetime with my husband, family and friends.
4. I want to be able to dress up with confidence instead of swaddle myself in layers. 

Honestly... there are 100's of reasons to lose weight. But the biggest of all for me is that I know I have so much more to offer.

I'm excited for this change and I'm excited to share it with you!

Surounding yourself with the people that inspire you...

Today the pup and I checked out the Hyvee triatholon in Des Moines.

I couldn't believe the level that some of these people were at. I'm talking gold medalists from this summers Olympics.  These people do not jiggle... not even a tiny amount when they run.

All I can say is Wowza!!! 

Bodymedia link!!

Boy oh boy...
I'm one excited gal as My Bodymedia Link is on the way!!!

Better figure out a great meal plan... because ice cream, pasta, and wine are not the major food groups for weight loss. Until its here though I'm soaking up some slacker time and enjoying the foods that have gotten me here in the first place.

Be prepared people... We are on countdown till I embrace a newer healthier life filled with downward dogs and planking ;) 

Yoga in the park... otherwise knowen as downward dog for work not fun ;) lol

Today I hit up Yoga in the park in Des Moines.

Its been over 13 years since I last tried out Yoga and let me tell you... this 31 year old body is no longer flexible or strong enough for yoga. I apparently act like a child and shouldn't be allowed into public yoga class. I laughed the entire way through.  Each time I had to downward dog I giggled and had to force myself not to pull our my phone and take photos of over 100 of us yoga wannabes with our butts high in the air.I had a blast!!!

I highly recommend trying something new and potentially embarrassing. You never know what will get you into fitness until you find it ;)

I swear... every time our yogi said "plank" in my head I said "fu". 

#2

I have gone up and I have gone down. I have been blonde, red and brunette (and when much younger all sorts of colors that could only be summed up as having a crayon throw up on your hair). I am a creature of the NOW culture where you can have anything and everything. The problem with that is that its caught up with me.

Because of this lifestyle and now culture; I'm the barer of stretchmarks (without the title of being a heroic mother who's earned her stripes... I hate that saying), I have frizzy burnt out hair that's short and my body thinks I've picked up the next world war against it.  With all of those defenses up I've got to find a way to beat my body and mind into submission so that I can go to the beach without wondering what jokes people have come up with today about Shamu or how to "free Willy" back into the wild.

To start my journey I have decided to share this with all of you. Not only will I make you laugh, cry and possibly (painfully) have diet coke shoot out your nose; I hope to inspire others to have the courage to change regardless of how many times you've failed.

I've failed but I sure haven't given up yet and I have no intention. In the past either I wasn't committed or starving wasn't in the cards for a big girl like me; I know that I have to try something new because my old way of doing things has not worked right for me. Yet. 

Today I ordered the Bodymedia Link. For those of you that don't know what this is... I suggest goggling it. For me this is going to be a tool that I think will help me out big time. I'm a very competitive person and this new tool will allow me to compete with myself (and I'll be damned if I don't win). It'll log all of my calories consumed, burnt and my sleep cycle. Those are 3 very important things for weight loss and I am so excited to start.

My Link armband should be here in about five days, which to a big girl means... I've got five days to drink wine, have fun and eat out ;)  I know... those are 3 things that have gotten me to where I am today... but hey I did a 5k walk and went swimming for about 30mins. A girl like me deserves a little fun after all that ;)

The first post...

Oh where oh where to start...?

Today I've committed to a plan. It may not be the best but I am sure it's not the worst. Those of you that would like to travel with me down this road of health and self discovery are more then welcome to read along as I struggle, whine, laugh and succeed!

I'm a confessed clutz so I'm sure that I will make this journey an interesting one ;)